When we make choices we usually think about things before jumping head first. It’s a reflex. It’s a self preservation that most of us have. My better half of almost twenty years and I do not have that. At least not in the beginning.
We’d jump onto things. Relationship? Dated a few weeks, bought a house. Had a baby. Eloped to Vegas. Alright, I see you. Trade land deeds for a place with a house. Fantastic. Buy a house off market. Bonus; don’t tell anyone, place an offer an get it accepted before your better half has time to process. Outstanding. Paint the interior of your house without asking the other said better half. Sure.
It’s all relative. It’s all fun. It’s all a bit jarring. Especially if you happened to be the mothers of these ridiculous children that have habits of jumping with their hearts and letting their brains cuss them later. It’s who we were/are.
When we look at how we are compared to our parents, it’s really life altering. As a kid and adolescent you think your folks are ignorant. They don’t know anything. They don’t understand. Because they’ve never done things. ‘Anything’s’ that are fun and adventurous. Until you grow up. Then you learn about your fathers fun military stories. He had ways of getting out of PT, and days on California beaches that made my jaw drop. Because ITS MY DAD. You hear about his younger years when he was wild and free and not constricted by a job or so many obligations. I was never an obligation. But I was a lot to handle.
I’ve learned a lot of that came from my dad. I see that in my own son. He doesn’t act quite like his own dad, but he’s got my brown eyes and temperament. He can be calm and quiet. And then I see me come out when he speaks passionately about something. I wonder one day what he will use that passion for. I wonder if I screwed him up just enough to go fight for those who can’t, but make it fun. Along with a sprinkle of ADHD mania, just to keep his stamina along the way.
Its mind blowing to think that the child will be out in the giant world. As I’m sure our own parents felt. Mine were just praying that I didn’t come back. I didn’t. They enjoy their quiet. Mostly, I find it overrated. But I was raised to be quiet. Obedient. That rarely was the case, as it is today. But gold stars to them for trying!
I find that in figuring out how to parent Tuck, I have had the most amazingly deep feeling conversations with him. He wants BIG things. Big job, big house, big life. With lots of kiddos and the busy city street noise from down below as his daily music. He also has a disturbing sense of humor. Like a rated PG-14 ‘disturbing’. Let’s not get crazy. And often, he deflects his pain as humor. That particular feature is a light splash of yours truly. Probably from having to be quiet and not show too much emotion. Oops.
I can honestly say that regardless if he gets the house on the hill or high rise with the wife and a shoe full of kids, is he happy? Does he feel fulfilled in his soul? Does he love his family? Is he a good friend to everyone?
If it’s all a solid ‘Yes!’, ladies and gents, my work here is done. And that’s all we and those ridiculous mamas & papas can hope for. Xoxoxo
Growing A Gentle Giant 